Disclaimer:
Mum & Dad; you were warned in the previous post. The following post contains material of an elicit nature and tales of drinking of an epic proportion. There can be no repercussion emails or messages relating to the following post. It is by my advice that you look away from the screen now. You have been warned. x
Right, so for everyone else; this was a week to rival the great seven day bender that was Malia 2006; where the only non-alcoholic drink was a sip of water per day to wash down the Nurofen...
Ok, as said in the previous post the first night was fairly tame. We'd decided that it was a good idea to pace ourselves and not take too much money with us and just get a feel of the place. At around 1am the well had run dry and there was a slight haziness hanging in all of our heads; so Lana, Mitch and myself headed to Burger King to finish the night in style (you will start to see that this is to become the standard ending to the night; regardless of the time).
The following day we were ready. Following dinner we were the only ones who wanted to take the evening to another level; so with a few beers already in our bellies the Three Amigos headed off to the bright lights of Bangla Road.
Bangla Road is the main strip with Patong and consists on hundreds of bars lining both sides of the streets. Large neon signs promote all of the GoGo bars and there are girls dancing in their underwear in the upper windows to lure people in the clubs. These are the girls that you don't look at too closely as you don't want to be perving over a ladyboy. The atmosphere on the road is very good and there are hoards of people lined up outside all of the bars trying to get the punters inside with promises of 2 for 1 drinks. Drinks in these areas of Thailand (main party districts; Patong, Phi Phi, Chaweng and Hat Rin) come in form of buckets; usually either Vodka or Whiskey with Redbull and Coke/Sprite. The buckets are very lethal and after 1 you can really start to feel the adrenaline pumping!!
Walking along Bangla, we were after a deal!! This came in the form of a proper London geezer - arm around a blatant Ladyboy - shouting at us that his bar were doing buckets for 150baht; equivalent to £3.50... Bargain!!! We headed up the stairs to 'Silk' and straight to the bar. Lana grabbed a table and the boys sorted the drinks. Well it actually turned into drink - singular - as we pulled our mathematical skills together and worked out that a 500baht bucket with 12 shots of vodka between us would get us drunk a lot quicker than a 3 shot bucket for 150baht. As the guy poured the drink; not really measuring properly, it turned out that the 12 shots came extremely close to the top of the bucket and before putting a splash of Redbull in we asked him to mark how high the alcohol level was. Really high is the answer... We decided to play some drinking games - and without having playing cards so that we could F*** the Bus - we turned to Connect 4 and Jenga. Losers having to drink 3 gulps of the 99% alcohol bucket. Needless to say that after a few games (of Lana losing) Connect 4 pieces were being thrown in tantrums over the balcony and several Jenga pieces with cheeky little phrases written on them were being smuggled into bags.
Next!! After falling down the stairs and harassing the little Thai guy holding a bucket sign, the need for adventure was high and this led to our ears pricking up and all three of us spinning on our heels as we heard the following line; PingPong show!! Cheap, Cheap!! Very Cheap!! We all gave nods of approval and followed him into a seedy looking bar with a large stage in the middle with stools surrounding it and booths behind; dim lights and a lot of velvet draping the walls. The first thing that we noticed was the amount of old men - with the biggest grins on their faces - surrounded by young Thai girls trying to get as much money as possible from them by "keeping them company" for the evening. We took out seats on the stools at the stage; got a cold Chang each (at an extortionate price) and waited for the show to start. So after about 5 minutes the show began and as we looked around we wondered why we were the only people sitting at the stage. This answer came pretty damn quick. The girl walked onto the stage and begun to pull out of her about 5 metres of string with flowers attached all the way along and then decided it would be funny to throw it in our direction. I have never moved so fast in my life!! All three of our stools went flying as we pushed ourselves back and ran for the cover of a booth right at the back of the bar!! Everyone else in there thought it was pretty funny... We could not stop laughing for about 10 minutes; I thought the heart attack was finally coming. The next half hour was slightly disturbing as it involved Goldfish, a turtle, a hamster and several PingPong balls. The most entertaining part came as she pointed to the audience and insisted that the balls needed to go back to where they came from... With the most amount of peer pressure I have ever seen we had a volunteer. Up stepped Mitch!! And I'll leave it at that...
Following the disturbing sights of the past hour; we need to drink as much as possible to try to forget. Across the road was the Sunset bar where there was a couple of Thai girls holding a massive sign saying '2 for 1 buckets'. We were hooked. Two buckets of Vodka/Redbull lined up on the bar and we'd just found the Pole near to the back. Music was pumping, buckets were in hand and we were all taking turns at showing our Pole Dancing talents. Mine pretty much ended up being left in a heap on the floor; however Mitch's were so impressive that he woke up the next morning with huge bruising along his arm and shoulder. In the bar we met an 2 Australian guys (1 girl, 1 guy); who no-one can remember their names - or we might not have asked. Anyway, the girl was smoking hot and caught the attention of Mitch straight away who almost slipped in his own dribble. After finishing the buckets - in possibly record time - the next few hours got a bit hazy but I'm pretty sure that we got another couple of buckets in the bar before venturing out. The next stop was another bar just along Bangla Road for a couple of cheeky shots before hitting club Hollywood. The two Australians joined us for the rest of the night and this is potentially where the night took a turn. The club was packed and the music was awesome!! After about 20 minutes of dancing it was time for more drinks and these came in the form of syringe shooters being sold by an old Thai woman in a badly fitted nurses outfit. I think we had a couple each and then carried on tearing up the dancefloor for another hour or so. The Aussie guys were absolutely wasted and I don't think this helped the situation when we were suddenly all buddled across the dancefloor, down the stairs and out onto the road for no apparent reason other than that they were too drunk...
The next hour or so was a bit more chilled out; we found an outside bar that still had a band playing, had a few beers, Lana went off to throw up and then we headed to down the road to good old trusty Burger King for another Triple Whopper!! Successful evening all round!!
The following day at the beach really helped divert the hangover, and by lunchtime we were forced into having a another beer; then by the time dinner came round the mouth was watering and the cocktails were out. After dinner we all headed out to Bangla Road to one of the open front bars to watch the Rugby and have a few drinks. The plan for tonight was pretty much the same as the last; however we'd recruited Dimity and Jade as well as chaperone's for the evening. Little did they know that the master plan was to get them equally as - if not more - drunk as we were the previous evening. It started with a couple of tame cocktails within the bar; with a couple of shots to chase it down with, before heading back to Silk to sample their amazing 12 shot bucket. As there were more us this time we opted for a couple of buckets which went down equally as well as the night before. It seems pretty strange but everyone thought that the buckets were pretty strong - probably due to them being made up of 99% alcohol - however I couldn't really taste it that much. I thought rather than be worried about that fact, I'd put it down to getting a taste for it over the past 3 months and decided to roll on through. After a few successful and unsuccessful games of Connect 4 and Jenga the newcomers were putting the pressure on that they wanted to hit a PingPong show; so we left the bar and tried to find one a bit more adventurous than the last. Tried, and found!! The show this time was in a smaller bar, again with a stage in the middle and stools surrounding. We chose not to sit at these this time round. As the drinks flowed, the night got a bit blurry, and not being allowed to take photos it is difficult to piece the entire turn of events together. What was remembered are scenes that will stay with me for a long long time. The main one being the look on Dim, Jade and Mitch's faces when pulled onto the stage and told to hold balloons in various positions as they were going to shot with darts!! The picture burned into my retinas of a skinny Thai woman laying on her back and rubbing her belly was too hard to shake off; no matter how much was drunk. After the 45 minute show - of which I unfortunately can't remember much else - the Dj started playing the tunes and it was left for the 5 of us to do the only thing that seemed reasonable at the time... get on stage and dance with the girls. This lasted about another half an hour before we realised that touch the poles was probably not the best idea. Onto the next bar was the POA!! We headed then to Banana Club - which luckily has no affiliation to do with the one in Amsterdam - to once again show the Thais how to cut some serious shapes and tear up the dancefloor. A few more drinks were necked in here along with a couple or more shots. The music was awesome, but didn't really have the same impact that Hollywood had the previous evening. Needless to say, after an hour or so the alcohol was starting drag us down, and at around 3am we called defeat and did the only logical thing; hit Burger King. Hard.
x
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