Ko Samui...

Just a quick one on Ko Samui as it was mainly just a stop gap for Koh Phangan. I'd arranged to meet a few people on Samui and we were planning on heading to Phangan together; Tim and Cally from Ko Lanta and Matt from Buenos Aries.

I got picked up from Outside the hotel on Lanta at around 8am and driven across the South of Thailand to Dom Sak; which is the main pier to get the ferry across to Samui. I decided to pay to extra 100baht to go directly to Dom Sak rather than change in Krabi and would have put another 2 hours onto the journey. The ride to the pier took a few hours and we were crammed into the van like sardines with the bags just thrown in around us. The ferry was a lot better and a but more spacious! The wait for the ferry was about an hour and journey another hour and half; so I arrived in at the Western pier around 2.30 and took a local taxi the hour trip around the top of the island to the East side and the large town of Chaweng.  Tim and Cally had already found a decent hotel in the middle of Chaweng - called the Chaweng Palace - so I went straight there; bargained for a cheaper from and went to drop the bags off.  I know that it's not much to go by, but this was probably the nicest hotel room that I'd stayed in so far in the tour.  There was an enormous comfortable bed, large plasma TV, air con, proper power shower and to top it all of; another smaller bed that I dumped all of my stuff on.

I arranged to meet Tim and Cally at 7 in the reception to go for dinner and they took me to a nice Thai place near the hotel that they went to the previous night and had an amazing Mussaman Curry and a couple of beers catching up on the last week.  After dinner we went in search of a bar showing the Newcastle game for Tim, that was to be followed by the Spurs game for myself; which left Cally to drink herself into boredom.  We found the Duke Bar which was only 5 minutes from the hotel and - even better - 2 minutes from McDonalds!  We decided that as we'd be there for a while we'd get a beer tower rather than having to keep asking for more beers, and sat back to watch the football.  After both games we'd demolished the tower, headed to McDonalds for a Mega Mac meal and hit the sack.

The next morning, Tim and I had arranged to go for a jog along the beach at 9am to get a bit of exercise in before heading for a big week that will follow; however (and luckily for me) the heavens had opened considerably, therefore rain stopped play.  The rain didn't stop for about 4/5 hours, so instead of being able to spend an afternoon on the beach we had to find an alternative plan.  The alternative plan turned out to be going to the cinema to see 'Wrath of the Titans'.  We also must have missed the memo about having to stand up during the small feature presentation for the King and as we were sitting the furthest forward we didn't notice until right at the end that we were the only people seated.

That evening we just had a quiet night; went over to a small local place for dinner and then just over to one of the reggae bars on by the lake for a quick nightcap.  Pretty uneventful day; however these are always good to have at some point just to have a bit of relaxation.

The following was to be the last day on Ko Samui before travelling over to Koh Phangan.  The weather had taken a complete opposite turn; the sun was out and the heat blistering.  We arranged to meet early in the morning to get a prime spot on Chaweng beach.  The beach at Chaweng is decent.  Not as commercial as Patong, and not as quiet and relaxing as Railay.  We picked a spot and pretty much lounged down for the next 4 hours, basking in the sunshine.  At 4 we headed back to the hotel as Matt was landing in Samui and we were meeting at 6 to grab dinner and to have a catch up on the last couple of months of travelling.

For dinner we all decided to go to the market to have some authentic street food.  First up was a chicken kebab which was amazing; however the pepper at the end turned out to be an enormous chili... which I only realised once I'd stuffed the whole thing into my mouth and took a massive bite on it.  The next 5 minutes involved me drinking more water than you can shake a stick at and coughing non-stop.  Next!  We went for the main course next and each of us had a Pad Thai, that again was really good and took literally 2 minutes to make.  After a food stop we headed down to a bar on the beach front to have more of a catch up over a couple of beers.  The four of us spent the next couple of hours swapping travelling stories and Matt and I reminisced about the days in Buenos Aries; especially the epic finale at Boca Juniors.

After a while we all wandered back to the hotel; making a quick stop at the Dukes Bar the grab a another beer tower.

Early start on day 4; up at 7am and picked up at 8 to get the ferry across to Koh Phangan.  Although Ko Samui was just a stop gap; it was great meeting up with old and new friends again and a good way to start the week of the Full Moon!!!

x

Ko Lanta...

After the hectic, alcohol and pretty crazy week in Patong, I was in need for a huge wind-down and detox.  Ok, so the detox only lasted abut 2 days; but the intention was definitely there.  The day before leaving Patong I'd booked a mini-van to take me to a small island on the other side of the gulf near Krabi called Ko Lanta.  Ko Lanta is - along with Koh Phangan - one of the original hippy islands in Thailand where backpackers used to come to relax and chill out on the long deserted beaches.  Luckily Ko Lanta hasn't gone the same way of Koh Phangan and is still relatively quiet with the beaches sparsely lined with small bars and shacks selling cheap Thai food and ice cold beers.

The journey there wasn't the greatest.  It was a bit of a shock to the system to wake up early and be ready to picked up for 8am and was even more of a shock to wake up and not have the pounding pain of a monster hangover.  The journey was in a cramped mini-van; there are seats for 14 people, however the van's aren't exactly equipped to also carry 14 large rucksacks... and without a roof rack they are just crammed into any available space, making the leg room and comfortability less than that of Ryanair.  It also took bloody ages!!  For a journey that in a car would take about 5 hours, this took nearly 10 as the driver felt the need to stop every half an hour to have something to eat and a cigarette...

Before leaving Patong, I'd already booked a hotel for the first 3 nights in a decent resort with a nice swimming pool, good sun deck and 30 seconds from my room onto the beach.  It cost a little bit more than I wanted to pay; however as soon as I got into the nice air-conditioned room I knew that it was worth it!  The room was nice and cold, the bed was comfortable and for the first time in ages there was a fridge in the room; which I stocked straight away with a few bottles of Chang to get nicely chilled for the next couple of days.

The sleep that night was amazing and well deserved.  For the first time since being in Asia I had a room to myself rather than having to share a dorm.  The rates for the rooms in Thailand compared to Malaysia and Singapore are so cheap that most places don't have dorms, and rooms only cost around 600baht (£12) max.  I made sure that the alarm was set not too early; but early enough that I'd get a good spot at the pool.  So at 11am the alarm went off and I gave myself an hour to get showered and ready for a day of doing absolutely nothing but soaking in the sun and perfecting the awesome tan.  The pool was still quiet, so I found a good spot on the far side and made sure that as the day passed there wouldn't be any shade getting in the way, then grabbed a beer, some fruit, put the iPod on and settled in for the afternoon!!  As the day went on, it got a lot better.  The pool area started to get busy and it seemed that everyone staying at the hotel were female... Jackpot!!  After an easy lunch of fried rice and a banana shake the afternoon followed suit and I spent the whole time lounging around the pool, diving in when the heat was un-bearable, then back to the sunbed; waiting for sunset.  The hotel was on the West coast of the island and has a great sunset directly opposite; so around 6pm I headed down to the beach to chill out for an hour or so, watch the sun dip below the horizon and feel the air finally cool down a bit.  After a nice long shower and wind-down I'd arranged to meet a couple of guys from earlier at the pool to go for dinner.  We'd decided that after having such a stressful day of doing absolutely nothing, we'd just have a quiet night; and found a restaurant called the Meeting Place close by the hotel.  The food was really cheap and good and the Chang's were cold, so a winning combination.  After dinner we headed back the hotel and relaxed for a couple of hours at the bar at the hotel, which is pretty much just a wooden jetty over the beach looking out at the sea, with loads of big comfortable cushions everywhere; the perfect place to relax and full sleep with the sound of the waves slowly breaking.

I won't go into too much detail about the next day as it followed the exact same pattern as the previous.  Nice late start, the temperature was up to 37°C and the pool was busy again.

There wasn't really too much of a plan for the next couple of weeks.  I needed to be in Koh Phangan by 4th April for the Full Moon; so it left me with a bit of time to just relax after having a few big weeks prior in Patong, Malaysia etc...  I had arranged to meet a friend - Abi - from earlier on in the trip in Koh Lanta in the next few days, so that night I headed to the next beach along to look at a cheaper room for us to crash in that was a bit closer to the bars and a more livelier beach.  The beach that I was staying on previously was shingled - so not too comfortable - whereas the next along (Long Beach) was very fine sand.  Long Beach also stretches for a few kilometres and has several bars along it.  I found a couple of guesthouses - which all had vacancies - and decided to look properly tomorrow when it was a bit lighter and the state of the room can be seen better.

I grabbed dinner in a place called Raan who made an awesome Green curry, washed it down with a glass of white and then found a sports bar called Bajen to watch Spurs vs. Chelsea.  Pretty poor game finishing 0-0; however I met a cool Irish guy called Stephen who was on his honeymoon and left his wife in the Spa at their hotel so he could come out, drink several beers and watch the football.


The next day I got up early, grabbed some breakfast and carried my rucksack in the blazing heat for about 20 minutes up to long beach in search of a new place.  I managed to find a nice, cheap shack; 10 seconds to the beach and complete with a small beach bar.  The beach was perfect.  Bamboo sunbeds lined up outside the bar and hardly anyone else on the beach.  The 'shack' was also made out of bamboo, and looked pretty unsteady.  The saving grace was that evening when the heavens opened - and and a weeks rain dropped in about 2 hours - the place stood firmly!  It was pretty good too in the way that the breeze coming off of the sea would creep through all of the small holes between the wood and cool the room down a lot.  The downside to this was that if the wind could get through the small holes, then the insects and bugs could too... and the bed came complete with a large mosquito night draped over it; looking like a princess bed...  The bathroom had a lot to be desired.  It was separated from the room by a wooden wall to the ceiling and a shower curtain instead for a door.  The floor to the shower was a couple of large slate blocks surrounded by large pebbles and a bit too much sand; and came complete with a small frog camouflaged into the bamboo, which I managed to see half way through a shower.  All I was thinking to myself was I was glad that it wasn't a spider looking at me!  After the shower I told the little guy at the bar who just laughed and went in to get the frog out.  About 4 hours later the frog was back, and when I asked the bar guy where he had put it the first time, he informed me just outside the front door.  The second time I made sure that it wouldn't be able to find its way back.
During the downpour I decided to spend the time productively, so started writing a bit more of the blog before getting bored and watching The Hangover Part II.  After a couple of hours the rain ceased and started to dry up surprisingly quickly; so I walked into town and decided to hire a Moped for a few days to explore the island properly.  Lanta is probably one of the safest places to get a ped as the roads are really well maintained and as the whole island has the laid back, hippy feel, no ones seems to move around to quickly... that was until I got on the bike.


I met Abi at a hotel that a girl she had met on the boat was staying further just along from where the shack was and we walked down to the beach and found a small beach bar to grab a drink to watch the sun die out for the evening.  The guy in the bar told us that the bar was hosting a beach party later on that night, so after a drink we wandered back up to the main strip to get some dinner and headed into Bajen for a couple of games of pool and a few beers before moving back to the beach.  In the bar we met a great couple - Tim and Cally - from Guildford; who I met up with again later on on the tour!  After a couple of beers we all went to 7/11 to get some cheaper drinks and took them down to the beach.  The beach bar with the party was a bit busy, so we found some large cushions and dumped ourselves down for a few hours and just chatted the night away.  Tim and Cally were headed across to Ko Samui in a couple of days, so I arranged to meet them there on the 1st April before we all went across to Koh Phangan.


The following day we had a lazy morning and planned to be ready for 12ish, jump on the bike and explore for the afternoon.  The weather wasn't fantastic - slightly overcast - so the first stop would be to the old town on the east side of the island to see the sights.  It took about 25 minutes to get there, but there wasn't really too much to see.  We had lunch in a small Thai restaurant - however we both had the orange Duck which wasn't too good - and then took a walk for about half an hour around the town.  There were a few small shops, a war memorial and a large monument to the King; but that was about it.  We rode further south and pretty much came to the end of the rode where the coast line was covered in mangroves and there was large old longtail boats lined up on the beach and stretching back into the jungle.
After chilling out for half an hour we were planning to visit the emerald caves in the middle of the island, however by the time we reached there the clouds were just starting to burst and the tour to the caves would take a couple of hours.  We waited for the rain to stop - I had a banana pancake in the meantime - and we then travelled back to the West side of the island and south find a beach to crash on for an hour or so until heading back up to long beach.
The evening was planned to be a more relaxing one.  We went back up to the main strip again for dinner and then heard that there was going to be another party at a different bar on the beach; which was conveniently next to the place we were staying.  Same as before we went to 7/11, this time for a small bottle of Smirnoff, large Coke and a few paper cups, and headed down to the beach bar.  We chilled out at the bar for a couple of hours, although it wasn't as busy as the one on the previous night so we just wandered a bit further along the beach, sat down on the sand pretty much talked through until the sun started to come up!  Late to bed and late to rise the next day.


So, late start the next day and the weather was awesome!  Quick showers and back on the bike to head south to the national park to find a good beach to relax on for the day and to let the hangover drift over the horizon.  The beaches in the south were Ok, but not as nice as long beach.  The water however was warm and the sun was shining so couldn't complain too much.  After a couple of hours of laying in the sun, bit of swimming and about an hour of pathetically throwing a frisbee across the beach we headed a long the beach and found a couple of lounge bars.  We went to a Swedish one called Roundhouse and chilled out for an hour watching the sunset with a couple of ice cold banana shakes.  That evening after getting back to the room and getting ready we rode north to Sala Dan which is the main town on Ko Lanta where the pier is and also a fairly large market.  Within the market we found a few traditional Thai stalls with tables and chairs around; with everybody eating there being Thai.  Two things that are good with this: 1. If the locals eat there then it must be good and 2. The markets seem to be a lot cheaper than the restaurant, which are mainly catering for tourists.  I had the Penang curry which was fairly spicy, but manageable and washed down with a couple of bottles of Sprite (decided to have a detox after the last couple of nights).  After dinner we wandered around the market for a bit; found a bookshop and bought a couple to read over the next week or so whilst chilling in the sun, then hit a couple of clothes shops before driving back down to to Long Beach and watching Barcelona in the sports bar.  Early.  The night was supposed to be an early one after that, however on the way back to hotel we stopped by at a bar called Funky Monkey to play a few games of pool and listen to the live band about to stop.  It sort of came as a blessing, as about 2 minutes after we arrived there a small tropical storm blew over for the next hour; so we were stuck.  The band that played were actually amazing... They were called Lantana Band and started off by playing the standard songs that most cover bands cover - Hotel California, Bob Marley, The Beatles etc... - however with a laid back, hippy and reggae edge to them.  The last few songs that they played were ones written by their lead singer and were really cool; following the same easy going faster paced reggae vibe.


The next day was scheduled to be the last in the 'shack'... so that morning we rode around and managed to find a bungalow just off of the main strip, with Air-Con for a slightly cheaper price than before and complete with an awesome pool!!  Therefore, the plan for the day was sorted; bags dumped in the room and off to the pool for the next 6 hours of doing nothing except a bit of reading, listening to some music and diving into the pool everytime it reached that point of being just too hot.  The evening was slightly eventful.  After getting ready we found an amazing BBQ place on the main street that was only 99baht (£2) for BBQ Chicken, potato and salad.  With a bottle of Chang thrown in on the side it was turning into the perfect dinner!  We headed next door to a bar that claimed to have the best Mojitos on Ko Lanta and had a few games of winner stays on pool with some of the other guys in the bar.  The bar was owned by a German guy and his Thai wife.  After staying on the table for about 45 minutes I got a bit bored so surrendered my position and we went next door to relax with a couple more beers.  The next 10 minutes was pretty relaxed; however the silence was suddenly broken by a loud crash, a scream and the German guy shouted at the top of his voice at the Thai woman; telling her to go away, never come back etc...  He was throwing glasses and bottles around, the Mojito sign and generally thrashing anything that he could find!  Apparently this happens a lot.  We left the bar and went up to one called Galaxy who were supposed to be having a large party; however when we arrived we were the only ones there, had a quick drink and left.


The last day in Ko Lanta was again another chilled out one; lounging around the pool, easy lunch in one of the local Thai places and dinner at the Raan restaurant.  We needed to plan the next phase of our trips too, so went into the travel agency to negotiate a ticket away from the island.  Abi was heading to Malaysia on a Visa Run and I booked a mini-van to Ko Samui to meet up with Tim and Cally in Cheweng.  I'd also planned to meet up with Matt who I'd met previously in Buenos Aries and we all head over to Koh Phangan for the Full Moon.


So, after a pretty hectic week in Patong, Ko Lanta was a nice welcome break and slight detox.  The island is amazing and the whole hippy vibe is perfect for just chilling out on the beach, eating authentic local Thai food and just winding down the days.  The original plan was to stay on Lanta for 4 nights, but I loved it so much it was extended to 10.  Could have easily spent a lot longer there!!


x

 

The Carnage of Patong...

Disclaimer:

Mum & Dad; you were warned in the previous post. The following post contains material of an elicit nature and tales of drinking of an epic proportion. There can be no repercussion emails or messages relating to the following post. It is by my advice that you look away from the screen now. You have been warned. x

Right, so for everyone else; this was a week to rival the great seven day bender that was Malia 2006; where the only non-alcoholic drink was a sip of water per day to wash down the Nurofen...

Ok, as said in the previous post the first night was fairly tame. We'd decided that it was a good idea to pace ourselves and not take too much money with us and just get a feel of the place. At around 1am the well had run dry and there was a slight haziness hanging in all of our heads; so Lana, Mitch and myself headed to Burger King to finish the night in style (you will start to see that this is to become the standard ending to the night; regardless of the time).

The following day we were ready. Following dinner we were the only ones who wanted to take the evening to another level; so with a few beers already in our bellies the Three Amigos headed off to the bright lights of Bangla Road.

Bangla Road is the main strip with Patong and consists on hundreds of bars lining both sides of the streets. Large neon signs promote all of the GoGo bars and there are girls dancing in their underwear in the upper windows to lure people in the clubs. These are the girls that you don't look at too closely as you don't want to be perving over a ladyboy. The atmosphere on the road is very good and there are hoards of people lined up outside all of the bars trying to get the punters inside with promises of 2 for 1 drinks. Drinks in these areas of Thailand (main party districts; Patong, Phi Phi, Chaweng and Hat Rin) come in form of buckets; usually either Vodka or Whiskey with Redbull and Coke/Sprite. The buckets are very lethal and after 1 you can really start to feel the adrenaline pumping!!

Walking along Bangla, we were after a deal!! This came in the form of a proper London geezer - arm around a blatant Ladyboy - shouting at us that his bar were doing buckets for 150baht; equivalent to £3.50... Bargain!!! We headed up the stairs to 'Silk' and straight to the bar. Lana grabbed a table and the boys sorted the drinks. Well it actually turned into drink - singular - as we pulled our mathematical skills together and worked out that a 500baht bucket with 12 shots of vodka between us would get us drunk a lot quicker than a 3 shot bucket for 150baht. As the guy poured the drink; not really measuring properly, it turned out that the 12 shots came extremely close to the top of the bucket and before putting a splash of Redbull in we asked him to mark how high the alcohol level was. Really high is the answer... We decided to play some drinking games - and without having playing cards so that we could F*** the Bus - we turned to Connect 4 and Jenga. Losers having to drink 3 gulps of the 99% alcohol bucket. Needless to say that after a few games (of Lana losing) Connect 4 pieces were being thrown in tantrums over the balcony and several Jenga pieces with cheeky little phrases written on them were being smuggled into bags.

Next!! After falling down the stairs and harassing the little Thai guy holding a bucket sign, the need for adventure was high and this led to our ears pricking up and all three of us spinning on our heels as we heard the following line; PingPong show!! Cheap, Cheap!! Very Cheap!! We all gave nods of approval and followed him into a seedy looking bar with a large stage in the middle with stools surrounding it and booths behind; dim lights and a lot of velvet draping the walls. The first thing that we noticed was the amount of old men - with the biggest grins on their faces - surrounded by young Thai girls trying to get as much money as possible from them by "keeping them company" for the evening. We took out seats on the stools at the stage; got a cold Chang each (at an extortionate price) and waited for the show to start. So after about 5 minutes the show began and as we looked around we wondered why we were the only people sitting at the stage. This answer came pretty damn quick. The girl walked onto the stage and begun to pull out of her about 5 metres of string with flowers attached all the way along and then decided it would be funny to throw it in our direction. I have never moved so fast in my life!! All three of our stools went flying as we pushed ourselves back and ran for the cover of a booth right at the back of the bar!! Everyone else in there thought it was pretty funny... We could not stop laughing for about 10 minutes; I thought the heart attack was finally coming. The next half hour was slightly disturbing as it involved Goldfish, a turtle, a hamster and several PingPong balls. The most entertaining part came as she pointed to the audience and insisted that the balls needed to go back to where they came from... With the most amount of peer pressure I have ever seen we had a volunteer. Up stepped Mitch!! And I'll leave it at that...

Following the disturbing sights of the past hour; we need to drink as much as possible to try to forget.  Across the road was the Sunset bar where there was a couple of Thai girls holding a massive sign saying '2 for 1 buckets'.  We were hooked.  Two buckets of Vodka/Redbull lined up on the bar and we'd just found the Pole near to the back.  Music was pumping, buckets were in hand and we were all taking turns at showing our Pole Dancing talents.  Mine pretty much ended up being left in a heap on the floor; however Mitch's were so impressive that he woke up the next morning with huge bruising along his arm and shoulder.  In the bar we met an 2 Australian guys (1 girl, 1 guy); who no-one can remember their names - or we might not have asked.  Anyway, the girl was smoking hot and caught the attention of Mitch straight away who almost slipped in his own dribble.  After finishing the buckets - in possibly record time - the next few hours got a bit hazy but I'm pretty sure that we got another couple of buckets in the bar before venturing out.  The next stop was another bar just along Bangla Road for a couple of cheeky shots before hitting club Hollywood.  The two Australians joined us for the rest of the night and this is potentially where the night took a turn.  The club was packed and the music was awesome!! After about 20 minutes of dancing it was time for more drinks and these came in the form of syringe shooters being sold by an old Thai woman in a badly fitted nurses outfit.  I think we had a couple each and then carried on tearing up the dancefloor for another hour or so.  The Aussie guys were absolutely wasted and I don't think this helped the situation when we were suddenly all buddled across the dancefloor, down the stairs and out onto the road for no apparent reason other than that they were too drunk...

The next hour or so was a bit more chilled out; we found an outside bar that still had a band playing, had a few beers, Lana went off to throw up and then we headed to down the road to good old trusty Burger King for another Triple Whopper!!  Successful evening all round!!

The following day at the beach really helped divert the hangover, and by lunchtime we were forced into having a another beer; then by the time dinner came round the mouth was watering and the cocktails were out.  After dinner we all headed out to Bangla Road to one of the open front bars to watch the Rugby and have a few drinks.  The plan for tonight was pretty much the same as the last; however we'd recruited Dimity and Jade as well as chaperone's for the evening.  Little did they know that the master plan was to get them equally as - if not more - drunk as we were the previous evening.  It started with a couple of tame cocktails within the bar; with a couple of shots to chase it down with, before heading back to Silk to sample their amazing 12 shot bucket.  As there were more us this time we opted for a couple of buckets which went down equally as well as the night before.  It seems pretty strange but everyone thought that the buckets were pretty strong - probably due to them being made up of 99% alcohol - however I couldn't really taste it that much.  I thought rather than be worried about that fact, I'd put it down to getting a taste for it over the past 3 months and decided to roll on through.  After a few successful and unsuccessful games of Connect 4 and Jenga the newcomers were putting the pressure on that they wanted to hit a PingPong show; so we left the bar and tried to find one a bit more adventurous than the last.  Tried, and found!!  The show this time was in a smaller bar, again with a stage in the middle and stools surrounding.  We chose not to sit at these this time round.  As the drinks flowed, the night got a bit blurry, and not being allowed to take photos it is difficult to piece the entire turn of events together.  What was remembered are scenes that will stay with me for a long long time.  The main one being the look on Dim, Jade and Mitch's faces when pulled onto the stage and told to hold balloons in various positions as they were going to shot with darts!!  The picture burned into my retinas of a skinny Thai woman laying on her back and rubbing her belly was too hard to shake off; no matter how much was drunk.  After the 45 minute show - of which I unfortunately can't remember much else - the Dj started playing the tunes and it was left for the 5 of us to do the only thing that seemed reasonable at the time... get on stage and dance with the girls.  This lasted about another half an hour before we realised that touch the poles was probably not the best idea.  Onto the next bar was the POA!!  We headed then to Banana Club -  which luckily has no affiliation to do with the one in Amsterdam - to once again show the Thais how to cut some serious shapes and tear up the dancefloor.  A few more drinks were necked in here along with a couple or more shots.  The music was awesome, but didn't really have the same impact that Hollywood had the previous evening.  Needless to say, after an hour or so the alcohol was starting drag us down, and at around 3am we called defeat and did the only logical thing; hit Burger King. Hard.

x

Patong...

Everyone back home has been saying to me that there is only so long you stay stay on the beach before getting bored and need a sense of normality. My standard reply to this is that I'm more than happy to test this theory and at the moment it's looking like I won't be getting tired anytime soon... Challenge Accepted!!

Following a nice few days of doing nothing but laying on a beach, eating amazing Thai food and pretty much just relaxing... I thought that it was about the right time to send another week doing exactly the same thing, but with a lot of alcohol involved.

Before leaving sunny England I'd arranged to meet up with my amigo Lana from work for a few days whilst she was with some of her family and friends (Her mum and dad - Eric and Jenny, brother Mitch and family friend Leandra with her daughter Dimity and boyfriend Jade) in Thailand for a bit more hardcore sunbathing... and a couple of parties thrown in. So Tuesday morning at 7am I was picked up and about to exchange a nice hotel in Ao Nang for a - not so nice - hostel in the heart of South Thailand's party capital; Patong, Phuket. I arrived in Patong at around 4pm; threw the bags into the room and had a quick reccy around the place. I've been to Patong on a previous trip to Thailand; however this was about 8 years ago, and although the main strip hadn't changed, the rest of the place was un-recognisable. Gone are the small stalls selling a few dodgy handbags and wallets and now the front by the beach is lined with large stores selling every fake item imaginable; tees, vests, boxers, bags, electronics etc...

The first night was a pretty tame one. I met Lana and her family at their hotel and grabbed some dinner in a nice little Thai place. The first thing that she said to me was; Oh my God, you are so black!! Which means that all this hard work of lazing around doing nothing has definitely paid off!! Dinner was followed by myself, Lana Mitch heading off for a few cheeky beers along Bangla road. The saving grace was that none of us had brought a lot of money out; as the night could have got very very messy... So we called it a day around 1am and planned to make the next one just that little bit more special.

There wasn't a single day this week where the weather during the day wasn't anything short of amazing!! So the next day was a standard beach day on Hat Patong. The beach at Patong is a very commercial one; it stretches for a couple of kilometres and is just lined very thousands of sunbeds and umbrellas to be rented out. Sunbed owners are constantly coming around offering food and drinks; which means that you can spend the whole day lying down, soaking up the sun and not having to move for anything. The water is also crystal clear and a nice refreshing temperature. We all arranged to meet at around 7pm for dinner, so after several hours chillaxing on the beach doing as little as possible it was time to grab a banana shake (which are the most awesome thing ever) and head but to the hostel to get ready for dinner and the heavily promoted Epic night of partying ahead.

The nights out in Patong were pretty big ones; so I'll save these for a separate post - so mother, you may want to ignore the next couple that are coming along after this as I know you worry a little too much about my apparent 'excess' drinking.

The following day we had all planned to head to a small secluded beach along the island. The main problem with this was that the planned time was early... Needless to say that the hangovers around the camp - well actually just Lana, Mitch and myself - were bigger than any that I've experienced so far on the tour, but after a 30 min taxi ride it was more than worth it to be laying on a sunbed on a beach surrounded by only 20 or so other people. The water was warm and clear, the sun was hot and along the beach, amongst the rocks and between 2 palm trees there was a great hammock where I dumped myself for an hour or so and just soaked up the paradise atmosphere. Lunch came in the form of a nice simple Fried Rice and the hangover was still lingering in the air and I thought that the rice might help soak some of up so that I would be on fine form for the night ahead!! The day was spent answering a lot of questions from the rest of the group and one of us bursting out laughing as we'd remembered something from the night before whilst trying to piece it all together. After the beach we all headed back to the nice big resort that everyone else was staying in and jumped straight into the pool to clean off a ton of sand and chill for an hour or so before dinner. Dinner that night was in a small Thai place just off of the beach front and afterwards we all headed to Bangla road for a few cheeky drinks and to watch an Australian Rugby league game.

Within the majority of the bars in Patong there are Old-Skool games such as Connect 4, Jackpot and Jenga!! Every time we found a Jenga we'd create the biggest tower going only for me to be the one to make it come crashing the ground and then spend 5 mins trying to find all of the pieces. We all seemed to come unstuck whilst playing Connect 4... Whilst sitting in the bars - to make a bit of money - Thai kids walk around trying to get the westerners to buy flower necklaces by the use of pity and deceit. The one we encountered had a proper game plan and a good poker face. He wanted 100baht for a necklace; which we declined... and then went onto bet me that if he beat me at Connect 4 then I would buy one. Challenge accepted!! Ok, so 6 moves later I was 100baht lighter and a little bit baffled at what just happened. Up stepped the next victim who had the same fate; followed by a third. At that point we sent him on his merry little way. Git!

After a couple of hours the older guys retired to the hotel leaving Lana, Mitch, Dim, Jade and myself to hit the town running; which started with an around eagerly anticipated PingPong show... The remainder of this eventful night - including the grand details of the show - can be found within the next posts.

Cue next day. Ok, so this was a bit of a write-off. Having not gotten home until around 4, I decided that I wouldn't be getting up until well after midday; so as 2pm rolled around I thought that the beat plan of action would be to hit the beach, find a nice big sun lounger and curl up and feel sorry for myself for a couple of hours; headphones in and eyes closed.

That evening was a nice chilled out one. We decided that the need for a westernised food was in order, so we headed to one of the Irish pubs in the area - Molly Malones - where I had an amazing Steak and Ale pie, washed down with my first pint of Guinness since being in Sydney about 4 weeks earlier. It definitely doesn't taste as good as back home; but it did the trick. After a couple more drinks a few of us went to a cafe for a coffee; then called it a night around midnight.

As previous, the next day was a semi write-off; hitting the beach at around 1pm and pretty much just laid in the sun for the next 6 hours until it was time to meet up and head to dinner and out for the night. Tonight however had a twist! Tonight was the night - as my good friend Mikey puts it - to be Irish for a day!! St. Patrick's day in Patong was turning out to be a pretty good one; there are 2 Irish bars in the area who were putting on big celebrations and a lot of the other bars were following suit. After dinner and a temporary delay due to an unexpected downpour, we all headed to Molly Malones to drink green pints of Chang and listen to the Thai band start with the whole bar chanting the Wild Rover followed by a rendition of Dirty Old Town.

After a few pints of the black stuff; the majority had retired for the night leaving just Lana an Myself to paint the town Emerald Green!!

Whilst still in Molly's we met an old couple watching the bar who were from Dublin but now live on the Gold Coast. So we chatted with them for a while; trying to understand his accent whilst the Irish Rover was blasting away in my ears, and then - for a reason that in the morning we could not come up with - decided that the four of us needed Sambuca in our lives... The next few movements are a bit hazy; but it definitely involved a lot of shapes being cut across several dancefloors and ended with being in Burger King at around 3am with a Triple Whopper. And yes, it did come back to haunt me.

The next day was to be my last in Patong before retiring to the small hippy island of Ko Lanta to recover from the events of the previous week.

Following the events of St. Patrick's day; I didn't make it out of bed until 5pm that evening. I left the hostel briefly to get a Banana Shake, some crisps and a pack of Nurofen; and then skulked back to have a shower and get ready for dinner. Before heading out I'd decided that today was to be an Alcohol free day; which I thoroughly needed as my body was beginning to rebel against me and was only days away from shutting down and giving up.

We met for dinner at the same restaurant as the previous day and I decided on having the unsafe option of the Panang Gai; which on the previous night almost melted Jade's face as it was so spicy. I'm pretty good with the Thai currys; although this did give me a run for my money!!

After dinner it was all about the business. As one of Lana's sidelines she is also a hairdresser, so having not had a trim for the past two and a half months, I was starting to look like a castaway and all that was missing was my Wilson ball. So we headed back to the hotel where I got the first class treatment of a full hair wash and head massage followed by a great haircut!!

By the time the time my hair was back to normal and less like a bad perm it was around 11pm, and not being tired we went out to grab some ice cream; as a nice cold bottle of Chang was not on the cards. By the shopping complex there were still quite a few places open so we went in Swenson's ice cream parlour where we got matching Prince and Princess sundaes and extra thick ice cream shakes.

After dessert we said out emotional goodbyes and I headed back to the hostel to pack and get a couple of hours sleep before my 7am alarm call to head away from Phuket.

I just want to say a final Thank you to everyone for making me feel really welcome and that I had the most amazing week. It was really good to have a brief sense of normality after 10 weeks of drifting from place to place. It was amazing to meet you all, and next time I head to Oz I'll definitely be stopping by!! And Mitch, see you in London, baby!!!

x

Paradise...

15 minutes away from Ao Nang is my favourite place in the world.

Railey Beach can only be accessed by a long-tail boat from Ao Nang and is the most uncommercial place I've been to. There are a handful of hotels and bars and that is pretty much it. The beach is set with the jungle in the background and surrounded by large limestone cliffs. There are two beaches; East and West side that can be accessed between via a sort walk through one of the hotels or - as I found out by accident - a long 45 minute walk through the jungle.

Although the area is quite small compared to the surrounding towns, with the large jungle coverage, there is a lot of nature. During the walk through the jungle, the first thing I encountered was hidden quite well within the trees until it moved and created a large rustle sound. Turning around fairly tentatively I was staring at a rather large Monitor Lizard. It didn't seem too bothered about my presence and having stared at me briefly turned and carried along the path; thankfully in the opposite direction. Next on the list were a handful of smaller lizards, fearlessly sitting in the middle of the path and only moving once I'd thrown several sticks at them. Lastly, and the most exciting is my favourite animal in the world; monkeys!! Walking through, all that can be heard are monkeys calls echoing around, however I was never able to spot then in the trees. There was one particular part on the trail were the tree coverage was fairly low and dense and this must be their playful spot, because as I walked beneath all of sudden large leaves and pieces of fruit fell all around me and when looking up there were several small monkeys staring back at me and ready to throw more ammunition my way!!

The main beach at Railey is amazing beyond belief. The and is pure white and extremely fine, and the water is crystal clear and the most perfect turquoise colour. There are no sun loungers, no deck chair, no massage places, nobody trying to sell things on the beach... Nothing!! It is so tranquil and the absolutely perfect weather makes it even better.

It is my complete picture of paradise and if I could spend the rest of my life in one place, this would be it.

x

 

Thailand!!!

Having been twice previously, it is safe to say that Thailand is my favourite country in the world. It has the big commercial city, the Jungle, the commercial party towns and best of all, the islands.

The first stop took me back 8 years to the first place I stopped at in Thailand; a coastal town in the province of Krabi called Ao Nang. Although a long time had past, the place was still recognisable, with the main differences being the introduction of a Starbucks and McDonalds to lower the standard. I'd booked 3 nights here which gave enough time to relax and - after three weeks - finally be able to enjoy the beach again!! The southwestern islands of Thailand have some of the best beaches in the whole of Asia; with fine white sand and the most turquoise blue water that you'll ever see. The small mixture of beach and commerciality was a good starting point in Thailand and gave me the opportunity to ease into the life of not having to do anything strenuous for the foreseeable future.

A quick overview of the 3 days included a few nice long walks along the beach, sampling the most amazing Thai curries (one particular Massuman curry nearly melted my face... I'm assuming that when I asked for not very spicy, she decided to completely ignore the word 'not') and spend a good evening haggling with the local traders over the price of a few t-shirts.

Ao Nang is on face-value a fairly family orientated town, with lots of restaurants and bars catering for a more friendly atmosphere; however there is also the - shall we say - non-family area. With the lovely time difference of 7 hours ahead of the UK, being able to watch the football can be pretty tricky as most games kick-off at around 2am. So after having a late dinner and a quick wander around I promptly discovered that the only places open at 2am are those of a less desirable nature. There is one dead-end street which is lined with about 10 bars on each side that were still blasting out music and coincidently showing the Spurs game. Walking along trying to find a pretty quiet one, I was immediately hounded by several Thai women trying to get me into their bar to play pool with them and asking me to buy them drinks. Not falling for that one sweetheart!! Buying a drink pretty much means engagement and although the cooking and cleaning might be great, there's no room for the whole family! Finally at the end of all of the seedy bars there was the Reggae bar in all it's glory; showing the football, no Thai hookers outside and 5 blonde Norwegian girls lined at the bar necking shots. It would have been rude to turn down their offer to join them, so after about 5 minutes, 5 flaming 'Reggae shots' and a bottle of Chang... I'd caught up and ready to see where the rest of the night went. Ups and Downs. Spurs lost 1-0; however at closing time the barman sold us a few more bottles of Chang and we eased to the beach.

The next day, we all hired a long-tail boat and travelled to Paradise...

x

Mr. Chang...

Before heading into the distance and writing about Thailand, I thought I'd share with you first one of the more 'interesting' people that I have encountered along the way.

Mr. Chang is the owner of the Reggae Mansion hostel in Penang, Malaysia and - so I was told - had been coming up with new ideas over the past year to boost business and bring an more entertainment feel to the place.

Previous 'million dollar' ideas have been to hold quiz nights, talent shows, have DJs playing in the bar and drinks promos; however that was yet to get the crowds of Malaysians flocking. So on my first night there he decided to have a live musician in the bar. What he told everyone was going to be a full band turned out to be an 80 year old guy with an organ keyboard playing some of the delights of the western world whilst butchering them with his extremely broken English and lack of rhythm...

Half way through Mr. Chang decided to take control of the microphone and wow the crowd. Favourites included 'Country Roads' and some Bob Marley classics; but the highlight was his rendition of 'Unchained Melody'.

Needless to say Mr. Chang thought it was a roaring success and carried it on for the next 2 nights I was there...

x